Feels So Good to Feel So Good!

I am content.

This feeling of nothing being wrong is such a welcome gift.

I just want to feel at ease. I want to feel I can breathe. I’ve had to work so hard to get here.

When I inhale today, I only feel expansion… I don’t feel like I'm taking a drag from the life force of the Universe.

When I exhale, I'm not releasing pain, bitterness, rage.

 Inhale, open. Exhale, stillness...spaciousness... gratitude.

What freedom, to breathe in peace.

I could not know this kind of spaciousness without the trials I’ve lived through.

I never knew there was space on the other side of an exhale before things got really hard.

Before the wind was knocked out of me.

I didn’t know that it would be hard to just breathe one day.

I didn’t know that I would be so lost in my thoughts, so angry about the same 5 things for YEARS that I wouldn’t be able to take a single deep breath without thinking about every exhale as an opportunity to let this go.

This must be the definition of "all-consuming." When every breath is filled with an awareness of the problem.

I longed to be delivered from that constant pain.

I prayed to be released. “Let me learn the lessons this is here to teach me and let me out of this hell prison.”

Now that I am in balance again, I wonder, what were the lessons?

Hmmm. Was it a school I was attending or was it simply my time in the pressure chamber? I know I’ve been changed for good. I've been alchemized.

I am transformed.

Did I come to this peace by way of lessons learned or pure exhaustion with the suffering?

I treasure this freedom from anger and bitterness so much, I will do anything to avoid returning to it.