Listening to Julia Louis Dreyfus’ podcast this morning, I heard this quote from the great writer, Anne Lamott.

She was talking about her son, how much she always wanted to help him... how responsible she felt for his life and everything that was happening in it.

She herself had been an addict when she was young, and now her son was living through the same thing.  He was having a child and she believed strongly that the most important thing he could do was get sober.

She wanted to help him… and she was sure she knew exactly what he needed.  She said, “I’m sure you’re not this way with your children, but I think I have excellent ideas for them.  In ALL areas of their life.” 

What actually works is that you show up and you sit with them and you are willing to feel like crap with them… and you don’t try to get them to feel any better than they do… no matter how long it takes.

...

Hey Sunshine!

 I had dinner at a friend’s house over the weekend and she was telling me about her yoga teacher who went on a 30 day silent retreat.  During his retreat, he experienced a deep transformation. You see, for him to qualify for this 30 day retreat, he had to complete 10, ten-day retreats first.  They know how difficult 30 days in silence can be and they wanted to be sure that his mental health was up for the challenge.

He said his 30 day retreat was like the metamorphosis that a caterpillar experiences.  When the caterpillar folds itself into the chrysalis, it dissolves into a sort of jelly goo before it rebuilds itself into a butterfly.  He felt himself dissolving like that.  He felt himself breaking down, coming apart, letting go of the old structures… and it was painful. 

If you were to cut open a chrysalis before the transformation were complete, there is no possibility of it becoming a butterfly. 

You can’t...

I arrived in Bali one week ago to an excited driver who was holding a sign with my name on it.  When we got to his car, I asked, “Do I sit in the front seat or that back?”  “You’re preference, madam.”  He gives me a huge smile.  “Ok, I prefer the front seat.”  I open the passenger door and find myself looking at the steering wheel.  “Oh!  Only, other side!” We have a big laugh at my ignorance.  

He has lots of questions for me on the 90 minute drive.  The best question was, “You like kopi?”  This is the Indonesian word for coffee.  “Yes, I love it!”  “I take you to best kopi.”  So we stopped at a totally unexpected place.  I was immediately swept up by a local woman in a colorful sarong who was showing me a variety of plants along a trail… ginger, turmeric, mangosteen, she showed me a cinnamon tree.  She...

Word of the Year 2023

I attended the annual White Stone Ceremony at Unity Church of Houston this week... read on if you want to do your own white stone ceremony at home!

This is a long tradition at Unity… and many others have practiced this art of choosing a ‘word of the year.’

 The approach at Unity was a little different than I’ve ever done it before.

 I have always given my word of the year a lot of thought. 

 I always try on many different words, and want to choose just the right one.  I change my mind many times.

 The experience at Unity invited us to come to the ceremony with no word in mind.

 They explained that in ancient Roman times, if a person spent time in prison, when they were released, they were given a white stone.  This was evidence that they were purified, they had all the rights of any citizen in the community, they would be protected by the law, and most importantly, they had a clean slate.

 We...

This bolg post was recorded as my very first podcast podcast.  Use the link to listen! *If there's a blank space following the word "podcast" click there!

*This is a first attempt just to test it out... better sound quality and production coming soon!

Well Hello Sunshine!

I just decided to something crazy on a Wednesday… Start a podcast!

This is such a very ME thing to do!

I have been thinking about podcasting since I began life coaching… the idea has been like little champagne bubbles that keep rising up in me… start a podcast!  you should start a podcast!  And you know what?  I listen to that.  I take it seriously.  I believe that it’s important.  I have SO many words in me.  If you know me, you know it’s true.  I have been a talker since the very beginning – and what do you know… there are platforms in the world that are just MADE for talkers!  What is this magical world we...

I’m coming off an epic birthday week, and if you’ve been with me for awhile, you might remember my Build Your Own Birthday blog post from last year.  

I’m all-in on crafting your own celebrations that are uniquely YOU… rather than waiting on someone else to make your special days special.  

This year, my birthday began with a little pile of gifts from my family, then I enjoyed a spa day with friends, an overnight trip to Galveston with a bestie, a Miller Outdoor Theater production, yoga and lunch with another beautiful friend, and the party will continue in my hometown of Lafayette this weekend!  (I’m headed there for a wedding, but I’ll have some time to love on my family, which is my favorite!) I'll return to another sleepover with some of my favorite ladies at the lake... and there are a couple more birthday lunches in the coming weeks! 

I know this is a lot!  I didn't plan all of it... but it is so...

I visited my local library recently.  It was the first time I’d set foot in a library in 2 years… because… say it with me… #covid.  I found my favorite section… self help/spirituality… and a happy little book caught my eye: “Good Morning, I love you” by Shauna Shapiro.

I haven’t had a chance to read it because I was hungry when I went to the library and I took more books than I could read in 3 weeks.  I renewed them all and now it’s time to return them, and still I haven’t opened the little book with the sunshine on the cover.  So, this morning over coffee, I flipped through the book and landed on a paragraph about the author speaking to a therapist who said to her, “Shauna, life is not a self-improvement project.”

Record scratch.

Wait, what?

It’s not?  I giggled a little.  You know, the ‘yeah right’ giggle?

I kept reading.  Shauna said she almost...

Picture me in my Catholic school uniform, a junior in high school, terrified, smiling nervously, sitting on a stool in front of my Psychology class.  The room is filled with Juniors and Seniors and a diabolical teacher who randomly chooses a student each week to suffer through this exercise.  As I sit there, the students write on the backs of ripped sheets of ditto paper.  They have permission to judge me.  They are asked to write their thoughts about me… anonymously… and place them in the envelope that is being passed back through the rows.  When the envelope reaches the last student, it is handed to me and I have to read them aloud.  The envelope shakes in my hands.  I am sweating.  I am begging the faces in front of me to be kind. I open the first folded slip, then the next and the next… below is a list of all the comments I received (typed exactly as written).

• Very outgoing and active. Fun person
• I just now got...

What's boring to YOU?  Waiting rooms? Laundry? Church service?  Homework?  Carpool pickup line? Sitting through a lecture? Shopping with a partner? Long car rides? Long (or even short) flights? Babysitting?

I remember getting my first iPhone... the iPhone 3.  It took me about a year to join Facebook because I thought it would be a time waster and I didn't want to dip my toe in that pool.  I was sitting in a Drs waiting room soon after creating my FB profile. I scanned the magazines - nothing looked interesting.  Not yet accustomed to looking at social media, it took awhile for me to have the thought, "Oh yeah, I can look at Facebook!" Then I thought ... "Man, I never have to be bored again!"

Sure, phones keep us entertained... but is that REAL fun?  I actually feel really bored when scrolling social.

What is actual, genuine, REAL fun to you?  To make boring things fun... first you've got to KNOW that you CAN.  In Joie de Vivre this...

Today, we’re gonna take a look in the mirror.  Just stand there and look at her.  Notice where your brain goes.  What are the exact things it likes to say to you?  Are you able to look at yourself for long without looking away?  Can you handle the steady stream of casual constant self rejection?

I listened to a podcast this week featuring Mel Robbins who wrote The High Five Habit.  She teaches a method to help address the ‘language’ we speak to ourselves.  Here’s an impactful bit of the conversation: 

“We justify self-criticism by thinking that somehow we’re holding ourselves accountable.

Self-criticism has been passed down from generation to generation.

You are so unaware of how fluently you are negative.

When you are speaking, you are unaware that you are speaking the English language, you just speak it.  Self-criticism and self-rejection is something that we are fluent in.  So...